Trying to figure out where my extreme case of exhaustion has come from I have decided to reflect on my life as a mom. Is it that I’m older and my body just can’t keep up? Is it my anxiety? My diet? Too much coffee and then too little?

*My 11 month old is crawling all over me, literally. He’s like that little monkey in those museum movies.*

Up to the wee hours with a nursing baby, then time for myself….but in reality it’s just laying awake in bed with the hubby, said baby and a dog at the feet…I couldn’t escape if I wanted to, which by the way I should try to use the restroom one more time before beddy-bye.

Where was I? Oh, exhaustion….

So putting my midnight math skills to good use I have stumbled sleepily upon the following facts —

•I have been a mom for 18 years, 1 month and 22 days.
(Not included is my first pregnancy…because I was woefully yet delightfully clueless.)
•I have been pregnant for a total of 4 years and 2 months.
•I have been a nursing mommy to my teeny humans a grand total of 7 years and 10 months…so far…
•I have been a stay-home mommy for 13 years, non-stop, no give-backs.

•In all this time my hubby and I have spent just one, yes ONE night away from all of our 7 (yes SEVEN!!!!!!!!) kids…in total, EVER. *It.Was.Glorious.*

…And there’s that exhaustion again.

On top of all of this I clean the floors, scrub the toilets, wash the butts and wipe the boogers. I change the babies, bathe the kids, cook (I admit, the hubby cooks more than I these days.) and match socks. I do dishes, and potty-train. I grow gardens of food and flowers, mow and weed…all for everyone else. Never to perfection, but with my all, and always with what is my best.

On nice sunny days there are dog walks, trips to the park. Weekends are fishing.
School days are homework+homework+reading.
There are always sports events for the kids, choir, science fairs and girls scouts. (Not all on the same days, weeks or even months…usually, *yawn*…)

So, with all that math, and my mind wandering off to a quick and needed good night, let me say to all the moms (stay home parents of all kinds) no matter what we deal with in life…I feel yuh! You’re exhausted. You do so much, which is often too much. However!…look at all you accomplish.

For bumps in the night…
Whether sick or well…
We do our jobs…
We change their diapers…
Whether hot or cold…
We play the games…
We read the books….
The love we get back is what keeps us hooked.

Thank you exhaustion. You’ve taught me much…
In this…my little bit of heaven.


12 thoughts on “Mommyland

  1. First, I want to express my great awe at all you have accomplished as a mother. Truly, you’re an exceptionally loving human being with so much to give.

    Second, maybe I’m misreading this, but you say you’re giving tribute to “stay home parents of all kinds.” I just want to give my own shout-out and tribute to the working parents of all kinds. My husband and I both have to work, with means we split all the household duties–include childcare–evenly. We don’t have the money for daycare, nor do we have any family around to help us. It’s exhausting in its own right.

    I work 7-4, he works 4-8 each day, but the work we do inside the home is as important (and as labor intensive) as anything we do outside the home. If I could change the trajectory of my life, I sometimes wish I could do what you’ve done–being a full-time mother first. But then I wouldn’t have found my husband and thus, we wouldn’t have made the daughter we did.

    I admire your mothering, just as I admire the parenting of anyone who puts love first. We come in all kinds of packages (SAH, WAH, WOH) but that’s our common denominator: Our love for our children.

    (Sorry if I sound a little defensive. I just want to think that the money I make to provide for my daughter’s needs doesn’t make me a lesser mom. It could be that I’m just feeling guilty as I write this from work and miss her so badly.)

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    1. Oh yes, that shout out was for all parents, parents that work all day, only to stay home all night, to do their best while being exhausted! I remember working and having little one. Equally hard for many of the same reasons, but with a twist of only having ‘x’ amount of time in which to fulfill emotional and physical needs. Please do feel defensive at all!!! It was merely a glimpse into my own moment. I could not, would not want a job with kids. It’s a juggling job some just can’t do….me being one of them! Please do not feel guilt. You may vent and allow yourself honesty on my blog without the poetic beauty we both try and apply to our pains. Sometimes life is lacking in the editing department. 😊💜

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      1. Jeez it’s a day for me! I commented to myself but it was meant for you DearLilyJune! ****Please DO NOT feel defensive**** And that’s only the worst place EVER for a typo!!! I’m embarrassed! I’m so sorry! Holy crud…


    1. Ehh….kinda? Lol…
      I write my posts while the baby sleeps at night, or while everyone’s asleep in the morning. 👍🏼
      It’s really the only thing I do that’s just for me. And I don’t always keep it together on my own. My kids are good at keeping me in line 😜

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  2. I remember those days gurl, but let me promise you the day will come and you will have so much personal time on your hands you wont even know what to do with yourself. If you’re tired, you will take a long much needed nap. My kids are grown and I have a 4 yr old granddaughter that I get to enjoy now. I was a SAHM for 12 years and I feel ya- those were the best days of my life and if I could go back and do it all over again, I would. God bless you ♥

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    1. Thank you for your blessing, kind words! Our oldest is 21, youngest is 11 months so here’s hoping for grand babies soon! (I have no idea what I’ll do with a house to myself…probably paint myself and go running through the trees like woodland sprite) I really am thankful for my family. It makes me all warm n fuzzy 😇

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