Because He Loves Me.

My father died the day after Easter four years ago. He was in a hospital, surrounded by those he loved, that loved him. I was not there. I was not able to hold his hand or sit with my brother while he cried for our father. I could only call from 1700 miles away and hope that my words made a difference. I was beside myself with guilt. I missed my dad. I missed being there.

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When I was a child my father took us to Grandma and Grandpas house for Easter. Ham, homemade canned cherries, black olives on each finger. Easter egg hunts, and running amuck with my many cousins, my brother. That’s what Easter should be. Memories carried throughout our lives. The memories that we want to pass on to our children.

Though it’s been so long since I went home to see my family, they are always close. A thought, a prayer away. My dad, in my mind, is sitting by a fire, enjoying the star light, drinking the worst tasting coffee known to man.

When I became a Christian it was almost unthinkable to me that any being could love me, let alone God. After having my own and very personal tragedies in this life – and living through them, I know He does. I would not be here without God keeping watch, ever waiting for me to stop running and just be still. Protecting me from the terrible choices I made, keeping me from the depths of my own hell. I had children and my eyes were opened to that love in a new way. Giving a child up to save a stranger, let alone a drug addict, teen parent, homeless pile of worthlessness, is something I would never do – but God did that for me.

So, as I sit on my deck, so blessed, knowing what it is to suffer, I’m all too aware that there is much that the world doesn’t see about me, my life. But if I could choose just one part of myself to share with you, it would be the love of God.

I won’t push it on you full court press, that’s not who I am. If you don’t believe in God or are undecided, I don’t cherish you any less, and love you just the same. I don’t preach, I just choose to live my life accepting others as God does with me every day.

No matter your faith I hope this Easter weekend finds you with family, friends, the things you truly cherish in this life. I hope and pray that you look around and see all you have. Your very little bit of heaven may be more than your neighbor has. Know that if you’re spending it alone, or maybe lost, I’m thinking of you. You have a value within that is unmatched.

Make wonderful new memories to replace the sad, lonely moments. Each day is a blessing.

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13 thoughts on “Because He Loves Me.

  1. “I don’t preach, I just choose to live my life accepting others as God does with me every day.”

    You’re my kind of Christian! Glad that we found each other. Happy Easter, and by all means get some black olives and put them on your fingers. The olives tastes so good when served that way. 😉

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  2. Your dad sounds like a wonderful man. I also wish you a wonderful Easter with your family and friends. I’m so glad you found God and realize your worth ~ God bless that you found yourself! And yes, “Black olives on every finger” for sure ~ what would Easter be without that?!!!! Have a wonderful, blessed Holiday Weekend ♥

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    1. You do the olives too? Shut the front door! It’s only my kids favorite food activity!!
      He was a great man. The picture of him in this post was taken in front of a mine in Idaho. He loved exploring! He died of end-stage alcoholism, but when I was small he was the funniest guy I’ve ever met. Thank you for your kind words 💜 I

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      1. Oh, I did the olives on my fingers when I was little- also had to put “Bugles” on my fingers – they looked like witch finger nails– LOL! I’m sorry your dad passed and for such a tragic reason 😦 You tend to remember the good, how funny he was and how much he loved you ♥

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        1. Bugles! Fave road tripping snack. And I still do those on my fingers. I’ve been a mom since I was 17, so the inner child in me is stuck like super glue on tissue paper.
          You’re right about dad. I wrestled with his disease for a long time, and let go before he passed. I prayed fervently for years that he would get sober. The last 2-3 months of his life he was in a hospital or rehab and was sober. God gave me that. I got to hear him call me “Honey” and it was so very healing. He passed and I’m thankful for it, his suffering was immense.

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    1. I’m just touched by how ‘at home’ you’ve helped to make me feel DLJ. It’s been a blessing to know you, read your life often. You’ve changed me…for the better. And now I’m crying! Thanks a lot!!! 💜

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