A Daughters Heart



There is a child in my daughters class, who every day comes through the door dressed like a model for a department store. Popped collar shirts, masculine jeans, skater shoes…the most expensive of accessories.

The bell rings and his shoulders fall. His discomfort fades away and this beautiful child is – at least until the bell goes off to head back home – no longer the boy his surely loving parents dress him to be, but ‘Linda’…a snarky and at times confident child. Just one of the girls.

My sweet Birdie has sat me down many times to let out the built up frustration she feels on behalf of Linda. Whether this child’s parents even know, how come they make who she feels is obviously more comfortable as a her/she/girl/young lady, dress and act like a him/he/handsome young man. My daughter asks why he should have to pretend to be someone she’s not, while little Birdie has always been allowed to be Birdie.

My daughter does not like the tight, high-riding and/or low cut girls clothing. She does not enjoy bling and glitter, bows and girly-ness. Her wardrobe, much like mine was at her age – is filled with boys clothes, shoes, accessories. Nike football shirts, athletic pants and shorts, basketball shoes. She has one dress, which she has worn once. It wasn’t forced, she wanted it and so I bought it.

While trying to help my little girl (with the over-sized and often overly sensitive heart) understand Linda’s life, and the choices we make to be happy, the wise and wonderful mom in me realized something. My daughter is amazing. My daughter has managed to grasp and master what we take charge humans often find ourselves struggling with – acceptance. Whether of ourselves, others, circumstances, happenstances. She gets it.




(While there are a host of ‘issues’ surrounding this ‘subject of debate’…I’ll cross my t’s and dot my i’s as they find their way to the paper, but not before.)


I try not to be a drop in what I feel is an already overflowing cup of unsolicited opinions/advice, but I just want to say that with everything going on, going wrong – I am not worried or afraid of Linda’s miraculous friendship with my daughter.

I am fearful of war.

I am heartbroken for each human being that dies because they are starving.

I pray that those who are lost will be found, free, happy.

I do not pray that God changes someone who finds solace in being who they feel they’re meant to be.


*I am a Christian, and I’ve read the Bible. I’ve also lived, lost, learned along the way.*


I love my children, and as long as I’m living and beyond I will love them. If I can love my children then I can love your children. If I can accept my children’s desire to be who they choose/need to be, well then I can do the same for yours.

This isn’t about what I want but what makes my children/our children feel whole. I don’t understand it. But I’m not afraid of it, of change. I’m not afraid of a difference of opinion either, but I’m afraid for those human beings that are cast aside because they choose to live. I’m just one person I know. God has taught me that if nothing else, He’s saved me to share His love. He fought for my life through addiction, homelessness…and I’ll be damned if I’m going to be the one to cast a stone at one of HIS greatest gifts…another human being. A life worthy of existence. All unique, all loved, all beautiful in his eyes and therefore in mine.





13 thoughts on “A Daughters Heart

  1. Likely your girl will keep growing in compassion—a word that comes from the Latin, meaning “suffering-with”….
    To have a “heart for hurting” is a gift…but also means that it will be hurt…lucky she has an understanding mother, too!

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    1. Thank you Cynthia. And you’re right about her open heart and its vulnerability. She graduated from fifth grade today and is just sick that she won’t see many of the people she’s considered family the last five years. Maybe a drive in the country and some ice cream is in order 💜💜💜

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  2. I think things are getting easier for those who feel that they don’t fit in their gender…for this younger generation, it will be much easier than when we were kids. I love that whatever people feel they want to be, they’re becoming more able to express themselves. It’s far better than 50-100 years ago, when you had to fit into a “mold” society made for you and if you didn’t, you were completely ostracized.


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    1. I agree Stephanie! We live in Missouri and as much progress as I see in the news, it’s just not happening here the way it should be. BUT one heart can always help another-whether to heal or help in understanding.


  3. Love this line, “and I’ll be damned if I’m going to be the one to cast a stone at one of HIS greatest gifts…another human being.” ~ how beautiful! Birdie is ahead of her time. You should be so proud.

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    1. When Birdie was little I called her Little Bit. She was a little bit of me, her dad, and a lot of something greater. She has always had a heart for the hurting. She is just so giving of herself. She blows me away with the love that comes from her heart and soul.

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  4. Birdie is one cool kid. It’s all about being comfortable in who you are, yet that seems to be such a foreign idea to so many people. Good on Birdie for figuring that out early on. She’ll do well in life.

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  5. I have never been so miserable as when I have pretended to be something I am not whether that is healthy when unwell, or happy when I have every reason to be sad. As a result I cannot imagine being force to spend an entire lifetime that way. I am so happy Linda has a solid friend in Birdie.

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    1. You know Allie, that’s exactly what I thought of as I wrote this. Above all else I am so thankful my daughter is not just comfortable within herself but that she is accepting of someone else’s ‘self’. It’s hard enough in this world without allowing ourselves to just be what and who we are.

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